""I saw Vita lunching at the Cafe Royal today" said Jack Hutchinson last night. Oh such a pang of rage shot through me! All through dinner, and through supper, which ended with champagne and iced cake at 12.30, I was going back and foraging in my mind for the seed in my pillow: (you know what I mean: the pea under the mattress) and that was it. And I couldn’t say "who was with her?" And it burnt a hole in my mind, that you should have been lunching at the Cafe Royal and not come to see me. How pleased you’ll be! You did it on purpose I daresay. But who were you with? You knew I should get wind of it — yes and it was a woman you were lunching with, and there was I, sitting alone and and and…I break off my writing, which is all dish water, to make this heated exclamation: And when shall I see you? Dearest Creature, do write and tell me who were you lunching with at the Cafe Royal — and I sitting alone over the fire! I’ve had your book [Collected Poems] in my hands—and very stately it is, like a slab of ivory engraved with steel; but I didn’t read it, because you are giving it me. Oh the Cafe Royal! When Jack said that — not to me, but to the company, you could have seen my hand tremble; and then we all went on talking and the candles were lit, and I chose mine, a green one, and it was the first to die, which means that out of the 8 or 9 people there, I shall be the first to wear a winding sheet. But you’ll be lunching at the Cafe Royal!"